


butterflies

by ZXA



Category: Future Card Buddyfight
Genre: Butterflies as symbolism for death, Everybody Dies, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Internal Monologue, Letters, M/M, Monologue, though not in a physical sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 20:20:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15420813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZXA/pseuds/ZXA
Summary: ...i'll see you there.





	butterflies

**Author's Note:**

> short vent drabble, implied death on multiple ends

I have so much I want to say, but there isn't anything that would express what you meant to me.

Since I'm here, I suppose I should begin nonethless, weaving worthless words without meaning.

I'm a bit weak, I realize sitting under the stars thinking about you. They glitter above and sparkle like your eyes. You have an incredible smile. I wish we could see each other right now.

 

This morning, one thing led to another, and I watched a pair of tattered wings fall from the sky.

I couldn't do anything, since I can't reach anymore.

 

I can't see the outside anymore. The sun no longer touches the place where I reside.

I thought the worst was over, after I recovered in the past. Things were different now. And with you, I was allowed to have a heart again, despite how patchwork it was.

You're probably laughing at me from over there, since you don't think I lost my heart to begin with. But you let me love again.

 

Do you remember the days when we rested side by side, looking at the pink and orange of a fading sunset? I liked being in your arms.

Do you remember the rainy ones? Your comfort and warmth meant everything to me.

 

Today, watched butterflies float aimlessly nearby.

I wonder if I’m like them at all. Lost, floating.

But it doesn't really matter.

None of this means anything, after all.

 

White is supposed to be pure, but there's nothing pure about being trapped like a caged bird. I think, if I could fly for a moment, I could find peace.

 

Hey, do you think it was wrong of me to believe I was allowed to love?

Again, and again, and again, they disappear. I was right, you went away. Like mama, like Abbie. You were met with misfortune.

I'm sorry, it's my fault for falling for you.

 

I didn't want this, but I knew it would happen from the very beginning.

From the moment I loved you, it had been destined to fall apart.

 

The sun doesn't reach here, and nor does sound. I'm alone, disconnected.

I don't hate the shadows. But I liked a little bit of light, not pitch darkness.

 

Hey, Kanata, do you remember?

Do you remember me?

Do you remember us?

 

I could never forget.

Kanata, my greatest treasure is gone. If I don't have a home, am I a wanderer?

When we see each other again, will you hold my hand?

 

Kanata, Kanata, why did you have to go away? The pitterpatter of rain was okay, wasn't it?

We were so happy to spin around, and take steps together.

 

You, and mama, and Abbie, and everything and everyone, you won’t come back, you won’t come back, I can’t be fixed. I'm running out of time. I want it to disappear. The nightmare will end soon. Hey, hey, we’ll meet each other soon, right? Will you find me in that place, will you please find me?

Hey, what do you think of mama? She's an amazing person. I hope she approves of you, but I’m sure she will.

 

It hurts, and I can't breathe, and you're…

But you're already gone, Kanata. Your breath ceased a little while ago.

I don't have a home anymore.

 

But I’ll meet you soon. I know, I can hear.

I don't have long, so I’ll see you then and there.

Will you let me cry into your arms?

 

I can see a lot of red.

It's warm, and sad.

I see some disappointed faces. They're sad, I think. But I'm smiling. They did their best, but it's okay.

 

Destiny finally has its grasp on me. It happens to all of us eventually.

 

Hey, Kanata, it's getting dark, so I have to end this… I hope you’ll forgive me for following you.

I knew I couldn't bare something like this, so I flew.

I’ll see you soon, Kanata. 

 

… I love you.

**Author's Note:**

> im in a shitty mood and writing this helped me cope. it came out alright and I like people seeing my writing so , here we are


End file.
